Settled Unsettled

I want my cup of cold coffee right now! This very moment.

My brother makes the best cold coffee in the world and now I am spoilt for choice also slightly jealous of everyone who gets to have it. While I am in Mumbai, mentally I am still vacationing at home, as you can tell. My emotions are all over the place.

There is a rhythm to the life here in Mumbai. I reunited with my husband for a few hours, since he's always off to places. I also got together with my family here and the welcome was warm, also sweet quite literally since a bunch of theobroma goodies were awaiting my arrival along with everyone at home. Happy to be home and probably looking foward to getting back to the grind.

But, I miss home. I'll never shy away from that. I miss the routine of waking upto Murphy who you have to find for morning cuddles because she doesn't give a damn and then there's Cooper who'll literally greet you with the best cuddles and doggo kisses in the morning. I miss waiting for my brother to wake up and then ask us if we'd like to have a cup of cold coffee, which of course we'd never say no to. I miss those old songs playing on the FM.

I believe, more than anything I miss that version of myself. Somehow, no matter how hard I try, I just cannot be that person anyhwere else. It's a part of me that I reuinte with each time I am with them. It's not just the good part I miss. I also miss the part where all of us are irritating one another. The moments where we are all arguing and have chosen our sides. I miss the part where one person is so done with the running around and the other cannot get enough of it. I miss the part where we are trying to fulfill the irrational needs of one another. I miss how crazy we are and yet we've all embraced each others level of craziness by exchanging glances with one another and thinking to ourselves, 'inka kuch nahi ho sakta!'.

There's something quite amusing about visitng home after long intervals. You can distinctly identify the changes in a person- be it their habits or physicality. My youngest brother is in that current phase of life where he feels its an obligation to hang out with family. It takes some prep for him to sit in our company. However, my younger brother is evolving into this family man who is learning to juggle between work and home. He loves being with family but also loves to spend sometime by himself, and he does his best to strike a balance between the two. My dad is very much the same and so is his routine, partiuclarly looking forward to his evening meal followed by a few epsiodes of his action series that mom cannot tolerate since he doesn't switch his genre. The two most important ladies in my life are pretty much the same, we irriate each other and we cannot live without each other. It's as simple as that.

Last few days at home are overhwelming for me because there's a constant countdown going on in my mind. I am slightly irriated and dazed. The only reason I'd like to get used to this feeling of 'visiting home' is because I don't like to sulk as much during my last couple of days at home and after I come back as well.

But, I still miss my cup of cold coffee, the sense of familiarity, the calm and the chaos and of course the light of our lives, Murphy & Cooper.